At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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