Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
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