When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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