she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize