There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize