Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.