Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore