After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...