Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.