i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
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