You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
