I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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