i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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