let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
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I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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