Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
