I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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