If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
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The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
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I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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