This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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