i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
