shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
When did we convert life to cartoon?
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
