I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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