He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I was not drunk enough for that final.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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