I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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