we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize