so that wasnt chicken after all
just tell him i said nine months
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
