You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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