The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
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