Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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