I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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