Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
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