I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Randomize
