I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize