On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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