Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here