Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
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it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
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sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success