Moan for me like Helen Keller
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
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You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.