I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize