break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
These People Are So Awkward You’ll Get Embarrassed
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
These People Encountered Celebrities in Bizarrely Normal Places
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.