Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
