And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
