no, he came in my armpit
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
