Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
