How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
