Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Randomize
