I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
