You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
