i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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