did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
