Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
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Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
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I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
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