Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
