I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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