I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
