do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
