we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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