If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
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