I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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