why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize